My time in Tucson was spent focusing on, and loving Mary unconditionally. I got to spend time with my mom, Nani, my aunt (Aggie), my cousin (Allie), and my best friend Jessica. It was much needed for my heart. We started our adventures at church. I haven't been to my family church in well over a year. It was great to see many people who I know are praying for us. It was great to get hugs from people I have missed. I decided I was going to wear pants to church to really show off my baby bump. I hadn't worn pants in over two weeks due to the pain it causes me. I made the sacrifice to show off my baby, since this may be all most of the people at church ever see. Half way through church, I regretted my decision. I was counting down the minutes until I could change back into my dress. It really made me sad. I couldn't even go an hour in pants. It was a NOT needed reminder of my special, precious daughter. I continue to pray that she is not in any pain, but that I am taking all her pain for her.
After church we went to Olive Garden (my favorite). It was very delicious and made both of us happy (I decided it made Mary happy as well). After lunch we went to find an outfit for maternity pictures. I hate shopping. I have hated it even before being pregnant. Shopping for pictures with Mary made the whole process even more painful. I must have tried everything on in the store. Thank goodness Nani and Aggie had patience. It was so hard for me. I know I should have been happy, but I wasn't. I was hot and emotional. I wanted my tummy to be bigger. I wanted to have maternity pictures at 38+ weeks with a huge belly and healthy baby. In reality, we will have maternity pictures ASAP. Not sure yet when or where, but ASAP. I found an outfit (pants of course). I will only wear them for pictures, but then I will save them for our future pregnancy. After finding an outfit, we went to Build-A-Bear. Ever since finding out about Mary, I have wanted to get a bunny for her. I have no idea why, it's just something I have felt strongly. I had been looking a lot, and nothing was working. I then realized there was a great one at Build-A-Bear. We went in and I went right to the bunny. Then I recorded Mary's heartbeat onto one of the noise things. We then stuffed her. The workers at Build-A-Bear had no idea how emotional this was for us. When I went to stuff the bunny, the worker asked if it was for my baby. I said yes and she was so excited. She had no idea I was on the verge of tears the whole time. I just wanted her to stuff the bear and let us pay and leave. She had me chose a heart for the bunny. I had to rug it on my head, arms, heart, eyes, ect with all these cute sayings so Mary would be strong and brave and healthy and travel. It almost killed me. I looked over and Aggie was crying. I just wanted to leave. As soon as that was over, we paid and left. They wanted us to dress her and name her and we wanted to leave. It was almost too much to do, but I have the best bunny for Mary. It plays her heartbeat when we press it. Her siblings will learn to love the bunny as we share stories of Mary with them.
That night, my mom and Allie joined us as Nani's for chinese food. Again, it made me happy! We spent the evening laughing and having a great time. We also finished Mary's quilt. I had asked Nani to make Mary the same quilt she made me when I was a baby. We finished it and it's gorgeous. It will be something I treasure for ever and ever. Nani also made Mary the most beautiful white dress for baptism/cremation. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was a great night, full of love for Mary. Conversations were not what I dreamed of ever having, but I was so thankful for all the women in my life.
Monday morning I cute nearly 6 inches off my hair. Ever since I became pregnant, my ends of my hair had refused to curl. No one had ever seen such a thing. I just cut it off. It's so short. No one notices really except me, but man is it short. Lastly, I had lunch with my mom, Nani, and Jessica before heading home. Lunch was perfect. We laughed and we loved. I am so thankful for a best friend who supports me through this journey, even though it's hard for her. I said my goodbyes and headed back to Phoenix before the dust storms. It was an amazing and perfect trip to Tucson. I am attaching pictures below.
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| Bunny with Mary's heartbeat in it! |
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| Rocking chair where I read to Mary daily from a children's Bible. |
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| Her crib that is perfect because of the quilt Nani made. |
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| This is her preemie outfit. The book was given to me by a dear friend, and the blanket I croqueted her. |
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| This is her micro preemie outfit, a quilt a friend sent us, and my quilt, and of course her bunny. |
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| The most perfect quilt for Mary. Just like her mommy's. |
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| My very loved quilt. |
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| Here is her outfit we will put on her when she comes. It is so tiny. My hand is just to give a size reference. |
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